The Unspoken Grief


While tomorrow is Mother’s Day, today I would like to remind everyone that not every woman celebrates. I don’t mean the ones who sadly remember their Moms in heaven, but the ones like me, who have suffered the unspeakable loss of losing not one or two but nine ’embabies’.

What are ’embabies’? They are the result of a couple doing IVF and having live embryos implanted. They are ‘future babies’ with plans drawn up by their Moms and Dads. They already have a place in the hearts of their parents. The parents wait for two weeks, which seems like a lifetime to hopefully hear the words, ‘yes, the embryos stuck and you are still pregnant’.

Around 6 to 6 1/2 years ago, we went through three rounds of IVF. We had a total of nine live embryos implanted throughout the three rounds. We even had little personal names for them. Sadly, we lost all nine. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of them in heaven. I know one day, we will see them.

I am now able to talk about this and would like to offer support for others who have gone through this. I never compare what I went through to someone who had a miscarriage or a stillbirth. But, I just wanted to allow others to know that there are those, like me, that still gets sad on Mother’s Day because we have our own grief. ❤